My Car Crash

I was in a car crash yesterday.

While making a left turn from SW Morgan onto SW 35th, I was hit by an on-coming chevy blazer. I don't remember much before the impact, but I can still see the passengers door explode and watch the street through the windshield as I skid across the intersection.

I turned the car off and looked around. It was just about 5 o'clock - twilight - and the rain was a steady drizzle. I got out and saw people looking at me from all directions. I saw the car that hit me on the other side of the intersection. I ran over to see if the driver was okay.

The man behind the wheel rolled down his window and asked if I was okay. I hadn't really thought of that, but I didn't hurt and I could walk fine. He said he was okay, but would need to have his car towed. I went back to my car to move it out of the intersection and parked it at the gas station at the corner. By then, the reality of the situation was starting to sink in and I began mumbling to myself. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...." I kept repeating the mantra over and over again. I grabbed my insurance information from the glove compartment and headed back to the other car.

The other drive was talking to a woman holding an umbrella. "Do you two want to sit in my car and exchange info?" We got into her minivan (I remember it being quite clean.) The other driver was very composed and kind. "The important thing is that no one was hurt. It's just property."

There was a knock on my window. I rolled it down. A policeman was standing there.
"Everyone okay?" Yes.
"Are you exchanging insurance information?" Yes.
"Could someone move that Blazer out of traffic?" Sure.
Then he left.

By this point, I was starting to freak out. I got back to my car, but realized I hadn't gotten the other driver's insurance number. So I ran back and asked him for it.

"Oh, sure. Here you go. I'm just glad everyone's okay." I wanted to hug him. He seemed so calm and I wasn't. I wanted to know everything was okay. I now realized that being able to talk, stand and use my body meant that, in fact, everything was way more okay than it could have been. (This realization is currently giving me a lot of sollace.)

I got in my car and screamed for a minute. Once I'd gotten that out, I started the car and pulled out onto the street.

The car was definitely out of alignment, but drove surprisingly well. My nerves were shot and I proceeded down the road with my hazard lights on driving about 20mph. Every car that passed me in the other lane gave me a little jolt. The sound of the wipers sliding across the cracked windshield reminded me of the impact.

I was afraid of the car breaking down, so I decided to take surface roads home. I dropped onto what I thought was Spokane St, but soon found myself driving in the dark on an unfamiliar road. After a bit, I turned the car around to take my chances with the highway.

About this time, my fingers began to tingle. The my lips tingled. And then my chest was tingling and my hands were shaking. I couldn't control my fingers and gripped the steering wheel with my palms. My chest was shaking now and I realized I should probably see a doctor before I tried to drive home.

I knew of a hospital in West Seattle, not far from the accident, so I backtracked my way there. At an intersection I realized that having my hazards on meant no one could tell which way I was turning, so I drove with my arm stuck out the window like I was on a bike.

I found the hospital and drove around looking for the emergency room . There wasn't one. In fact, Providence Mt. St. Vincent didn't appeared to be much of a hospital. I parked the car and ran to the main entrance. The automatic doors parted and inside there were a lot of old people. Shit. Nursing home.

I figured there must be a nurse around somewhere, and all I needed was someone with some training to tell me I wasn't going to die, that I was just freaking out from the accident and everything would be okay. I found a nurse and he looked at me like I was crazy. I can't blame him. My hair was wet from standing in the rain and I was shaking.

I asked him to see a 'health care professional'. He said he could call 911.
"You can't help me? You're a nurse, right?"
"I can call 911," he repeated.
"Liability. Right?"
"Yep," he said as he picked up the phone and dialed. "There's a man here who says he's been in a car accident and wants to see a doctor." (I did sound like a nut - going to a nursing home to find a doctor.)

The nurse found me a wheelchair to sit in. An old man with a sippy cup looked at me like I was taking his favorite chair. The nurse wheeled me over to the entrance and said, "This is where they'll come in."

After sitting in the wheel chair for five minutes trying to breathe calmly (which wasn't working), a fire truck showed up. I thought, "That's not necessary."

Five firemen walked in and surrounded me. One guy asked me questions about the accident and another guy took my pulse and blood pressure. The captain - I know he was the captain because the other guys called him 'captain' - sat next to me and watched as his men looked me over. After a few minutes of questions, a guy with 'Brown' on his name tag told me "You've experienced a trauma and your body is in shock."

Yes, it is. Yes, it is.

They told me to relax for a bit and things would be okay. Good. That's what I needed to hear. The shaking began to subside. And then they left me in the nursing home foyer and drove off in the fire truck.

I walked back to my car, got in and drove home.